Read this and laugh

What makes: ”Ooooooo“?

An Cow without lips.


Female friend to her blonde girl friend; ” I went for a pregnancy test yesterday“ Blonde friend: ”Oh, was it difficult?“


Little boy asks his spinster aunt: ”Why have you never married?“ she replied: ”because I have a parrot, a dog and a cat. They are just like a man, the parrot swears like a man, the dog farts continuously like a man and the cat strays at night , like a man!“


A girl was yelling in the Church after the Chapel:
"Oh God! Please make Moscow the Capital of China!"
The priest inquired: "Why must you pray so, my child?"

Girl: "That's what I've written in my answer sheet in the examination!"


Granny gets on to her bicycle…her little grandson asked her: ”Where are you going to, Granny?“ She replied:“ to the graveyard, my boy“. Grandson: “but who is going to bring the bicycle back?“


Definition of a Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.


Definition of a Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.


Definition of a Divorce : Future tense of marriage

Definition of a Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Definition of a Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight

Thank You

There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real "miser" when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife. "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.

Well, he died.

He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close! the ca sket, the wife said, "Wait just a moment!"

She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, "Girl, I know you were not fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him."

You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check.... If he can cash it, he can spend it."

Send this to every clever female you know, and to every man who thinks they are smarter than us (women)!!!