Statue of the Day

Gandhism - Redefined...

S/W Engineer vs Doctor vs Priest

A Priest, a Doctor and an Software ENGINEER die and go to heaven, they hear God's voice and it says:

" My dear sons I am really very sorry but the heaven is full and I can accommodate only one of u, so to choose the right person, one by one tell me what u have done in your lifetime.

"The Priest goes up first and says "well God I'm a priest, I am u r humble servant and have spent all my life working to spread your message."

The Doctor goes up next and says "well I'm a doctor and I have helped thousands of people recover from their illnesses"

The SOFTWARE ENGINEER goes up says "well I worked as an SOFTWARE ENGINEER and........",
before the ENGINEER could say anything further, the heaven's gates opened and God came with tears in his eyes and said to the SOFTWARE ENGINEER


Say no more my son come with me, u have already been thru HELL...

A FUNNY INTERVIEW

Officer : What Is Your Name ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Tell Me Properly
Candidate : Mohan Pal Sir
Officer : Your Father's Name ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Does That Mean ?
Candidate : Manmohan Pal Sir
Officer : Your Native Place
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Is It Madhya Pradesh ?
Candidate : No, Munnur Pal Sir
Officer : What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : (Angrily) What Is It ?
Candidate : Metric Pass
Officer : Why Do You Need A Job ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : And What Does That Mean ?
Candidate : Money Problem Sir
Officer : Describe Your Personality
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Explain Yourself Clearly
Candidate : Magnanimous Personality Sir
Officer : This Discussion Is Nowhere, You May Go Now
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Is It Now
Candidate : My Performance....?
Officer : Mp !!!
Candidate : What Is That Sir..?
Officer : Mentally Puncture

SARDARJI CARTOONS

Its LALOO TIME

One day Laloo was travelling by his car. He was going to a village for campaigning . Suddenly a piglet came before the car.

The driver could'nt hit the brake at the right time and unfortunately the baby pig was killed in the accident . At the sight Laloo was deeply moved and felt very upset He called the driver and said ,"Jiska e suuar hai hum usko compensesan dena chahta hoon . Usko dhundke lav ".

At his words the driver went to the nearest village and came back after some time with a tilak on his forehead, garlands around his neck and lots of money in his hands!!!

Laloo was surprised . He asked ,"Hum tumko kaha tha ke uss aadmi ko laiye , aur tum aise wapas aaye ho! baat kya hai?"

At this the driver replied " I told them about the incident . Hearing it they were rejoiced , put tilak and garlands on me, then danced for some time and gave this money."

Laloo then asked him "Aap unko eg-jectly kaa bole?"

The driver replied : "Main bola, mein Laloo Prasad Yadav ka driver hoon, maine suaar ke bachhe ko mar dala hai.........."

Top 10 Blonde FAQs

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she’s pregnant.

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q: Why don’t blondes eat bananas?
A: They can’t find the zipper.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
A: Tits go in front.

Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.

Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.

Q: Why don’t blondes talk when having sex?
A: Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers.

Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They’re too hard to peel.

IF ONLY LIFE COULD BE LIKE A COMPUTER!

-If you messed up your life, you could press "Alt, Ctrl, Delete" and start all over!
-To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!

-If you needed a break from life, click on "suspend".

-Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.

-To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.

-To "add/remove" someone in your life, click settings and control panel.

-To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.

-If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.

-When you lose your car keys, click on "find".

-"Help" with the chores is just a click away.

-You wouldn't need auto insurance. You'd use your boot diskette to recover from a crash.

-We could click on "send" and the kids would go to bed immediately.

-To feel like a new person, click on "refresh".

-Click on "close" to shut up the kids and spouse.

-To undo a mistake, click on "back".

-Is your wardrobe getting old? Click "update".

-If you don't like cleaning the litter box, click on "delete".

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT MARRIAGE

1. "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." - Rodney Dangerfield.

2. "Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." - Robin Williams.

3. "A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing." - Duane Dewel.

4. "When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad." - Helen Rowland

5. "I have never really understood this liking for war. It panders to instincts already well catered for in any respectable domestic establishment." - Alan Bennett

6. "Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe." - Jackie Mason

7. "Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel." - Leonardo Di Vinci.

8. "I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house." - Lewis Grizzard.

9. "I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern." - Mickey Rooney.

10. "I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." - Rodney Dangerfield.

ALL TIME BEST 50 JOKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

2
Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?

3
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

4
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote: Yes!

5
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant it's already raining. Sardar: So what? Take an umbrella and go.

6
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11cr after deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else
return my 20 Rs back.

7
Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

8
Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving..

9
Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

10
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

11
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab . Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

12
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not
in the morning. Sardarji replied "Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM".

13
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?

14
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that is because we aren't married yet.

15
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

16
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied Sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

17
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

18
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
My Father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans," said another.
Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."

19
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

20
Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"
It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".

21
What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends.

22
Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard. Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?"

23
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first
patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.

"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"


24
As a old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"

25
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

26
What's the definition of lawyer?
The larval form of a politician

27
Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"

28
How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

29
once a Sardhar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so. He Replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

30
Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. " When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya? (What Happened, My Son?)

31
The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, )aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?" (These Maruti Car people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!

32
Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens .because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at t he dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died 'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa, 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'

33
2 Dost Suicide karne gae, Pahala : "Hey Bhagwan muje dunia ki saari nafrat de Pareshani de Duk de!" Dusra dost : "Abe tu maut maang raha hai ki Reliance mai Job.

34
Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so.

35
Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne Flag
Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.

36
How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo ta ra ra.

37
A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.

38
Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ...?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.

39
Papa : beta har parai stri ko apni Maa samjho to tumhara character thik ho jaaega.....Beta : Lekin Papa fir Aap ke character ka kya hoga....

40
Sardar: O Banno Car ki speed itani ky badha di..? biwi: Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, Exident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai.

41
Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a
Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!

42
Mayawati came to Lalu's House with a Goat.....
Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun Layi ho....??
Maya : Dikhta nahi, Goatwa hai..??
Lalu : Hum Goatwa se hi Puch raha Hun..!! 52

43
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

44
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born

45
Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.

46
Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.

47
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions

48
Man before Marriage I like Airtel...."Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan"
After Marriage He's Like Hutch... " Where R U Go Our Network Follows."

49
Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey.
Santa : Oh, I Thought it was its Skin...!!!
gaya... aur main...SWARGWASI. ..

50
They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is
love; after marriage it is self-defense

The ABCL Coporation Ltd....

ANAND jab BOMBAY TO GOA gaya to DON ban gaya.

Uske raaste ke pathar KABHI KABHI uski MILLI ke KASME VAADE
ki tarah ABHIMAAN paida kar oose PARWANA ban NE par MAJBOOR kar deta the.

BARSAAT KI EK RAAT mein LAAWARIS dil me SHOLAY bhadak uthe.
Logon se YAARANA badhakar ye SAUDAGAR apna KHOON PASINA bahata hua ek
SILSILA jamata raha.

Lekin hai re NASEEB! Ek NAMAK HALAAL par ek NAMAK HARAAM NE
TRISHUL phek kar oose KHUDDAR se DESH DROHI bana diya.

ANDHA KANOON aur ADAALAT kabhi is MR. NATWARLAL ko GIRAFTAAR na kar sake.
Who MAHAAN se NAASTIK ban kar kabhi AMAR AKBAR ANTHONY, kabhi SHARABI,
kabhi KAALIA, kabhi COOLIE ban at. Aur kabhi HERA PHERI kar SATTE PE SATTA marta.

Lekin ek din wo KAALA PATHTHAR ek DESH PREMI ban gaya.
Oos MARD me ek SHAKTI jaagi aur wo MUQADDAR KA SIKANDAR samay
ki GANGA JAMNA SARASWATI paar kar SHAHENSHAH ban gaya!

HUM ye nahi jaante ke kal KOUN BANEGA CROREPATI?
Sirf itna jaante hai ki agar aap ko bhi iis AGNEEPATH aur KOHRAM se
guzar na hai to to aap bhi AAJ KA ARJUN ban kar dekh lo.

AKELA nikal pado TOOFAN ki tarah AAKHRI RASTA ki taraf!
Agar MRITYUDAATA bane to hathon me ZANZEER hogi aur apne aap ko
DEEWAR ke ander paoge.
Aur MAJOR SAAB bane to RAAM BALRAAM ki tarah SHAAN se AJOOBA paoge....

On doctors

Here are some on doctors...

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where
Morris was working on a car. Morris in a loud voice, all
could hear, said argumentatively, "So Mr. fancy doctor,
look at this work. I also take valves out, grind 'em, put
in new parts, and when I finish this baby will purr like
a kitten. So how come you get the big bucks, when you and
me are doing basically the same work?"

DeBakey, very embarrassed, walked away and said softly, to
Morris, "Try doing your work with the engine running."




The patient awakened after the operation to find herself
in a room with all the blinds drawn.

"Why are all the blinds closed?" she asked her doctor.

"Well," the surgeon responded, "They're fighting a huge
fire across the street, and we didn't want you to wake
up and think the operation had failed."


Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on
strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what
the Doctors' demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist
over there to read the picket signs!



A Love Story At Dr. Watson's Office...

I shall seek and find you.
I shall take you to bed and control you.
I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you grunt and
groan. I will make you beg for mercy. I will exhaust you
to the point that you will be relieved when I leave you.
And you will be weak for days.

Thank You

There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real "miser" when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife. "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.

Well, he died.

He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close! the ca sket, the wife said, "Wait just a moment!"

She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, "Girl, I know you were not fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him."

You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check.... If he can cash it, he can spend it."

Send this to every clever female you know, and to every man who thinks they are smarter than us (women)!!!

Grandma's Boy friend

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with
his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and
said,

"Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to
heaven?"

Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom
and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and
the comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend."

Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started
adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated,
she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.

The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door,
and there stood Grandma's minister.

The minister said, "Hello, son, is your Grandma home?"

The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her
boyfriend."

The minister fainted.

Shaadi Ke Pehle Aur B aad

Shaadi ke pehle - Agar Tum Na Hote
Shaadi ke baad - Agar Tum Na Hote

Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya
Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya?

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai

Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha

Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye

Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge

Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi
Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap
Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap

Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic
Shaadi ke baad - Mortgage

Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun?
Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Kaaran

Shaadi ke pehle - Yes Boss
Shaadi ke baad - Yes Boss

Shaadi ke pehle - Mere Sapno Ki Rani
Shaadi ke baad - Chutki Ki Amma

Shaadi ke pehle - Kabhi Kabhi
Shaadi ke baad - If you are lucky

Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen
Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen?

Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Apke Hain
Shaadi he baad - Hum Apke Hai Koun?

Village school

A usual inspection was about to happen in a village school. The teacher had instructed the students a day before that they should come to school with thorough preparation.

The inspector visits the classroom & asks 1 student: Batao Parshuram ka dhanush kisne toda tha?

The students gets nervous, he stands up shaking & says: Masterji main bhagwan kasam khata hun maine nahi toda!

The inspector looks at teacher in astonishment.

The teacher comes close to the inspector & whispers in his ears: Pointing towards a student the teacher says " Sir mujhe lagta hai Mukesh ne hi toda hai! Class ka sabse saitan bachcha hai aur iski ungliyon pe dekho nishan bhi hai! "

ELEPHANT JOKES

Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card.

Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
A:Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it fell asleep.

Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.

Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was a copy cat.

Q: Why did the fourth elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought this was all a game.

Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.

Q: What does an elephant and a blueberry have in common?
A: They're both blue, except for the elephant.

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw 1,000 elephants coming over the hill?
A: Look, there's 1,000 elephants coming over the hill.

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.

Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Aw, come on, have you ever seen a yellow elephant !?!

Q: Why do elephants have red eyes?
A: So they can hide themselves better in cherry trees.

Q: Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
A: No? See how well the trick with the red eyes works?

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A: Time to get a new fence.

Q: Where does an 8 ton elephant sit?
A: Any damn place where he pleases!

Q: Why is an elephant covered in wrinkles?
A: Ever try to iron one?

What if he went to hell

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah!" The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, Then you ask him".

Biggest Funny SMS Collection

1) Filmi life aur Asli life me kya ANTAR hai?Srdr:Film me bahut mushkilo k bad
shadi hoti hai. Asli life me shadi k bad bahut mushkil hoti hai.


2) It was Santa's weding aniversary.Preeto :Shall v hav Tandoori chicken to
celebrate? Santa:y punish da poor chicken for da mistake v hav made


3) Fizao me tum ho Hawao me tum ho Baharo me tum ho Dhoop me tum ho chhaon me
tum ho.Sach hi suna tha.buri aatma ka koi thikana nahi hota...


4) U'r very special for me. I'm very concerned about u'r safety. But I can't be
with u always. So please, Take Care of yourself when u jump from 1 tree 2 another!


5) Definition of a Nurse
" a young and beautiful woman who fingers you in all places n holds
your hand and then expects your pulse to be normal...!"

6)
To,
The A.C.P,
Police station

Respected Sir,
As my friend forgot to SMS me,I kindly request u to take action against him & encounter His USELESS mobile !


7) Jab hum roya karenge teri yaden dhoya karenge,Jab hum pia karenge tujhe yaad
kia karenge,Agar hum mar bhi gaye to kya hoga,YAMRAJ ke mobile se SMS kia karenge




8)Bhagwan ke bina mandir adhoora hai, dosti ke bina jeevan adhoora hai,patni ke
bina ghar adhoora hai,AUR AAPKE BINA CIRCUS ADHOORA HAI.


9) Yeh kis tarah yaad aa rahe ho,
Aankhen band hai phir bhi nazar aa rahe ho,
Na jane kyon aisa lagta hai jaise saamne khade ho aur POONCHH HILAA rahe ho...!!!

10)
Aankho me "SHARAFAT"
Chaal me "NAJAKAT"
Dil me "SACHCHAI" aur
Chehre me "SAFAI"

Funny Rikshaw lines in Pakistan..

Maalik Ki Gaadi Driver Ka Paseena - Chalti Hai Road Par Ban Kar Haseena

Buri Nazar Wale, Tera Moonh Kala

Mera Pakistan Mahan (Lekin Janta Pareshan)

Qismat Aazma Chuka, Muqadar Aazma Raha Hoon - Aik Baywafa Kay Kahtir Riksha Chala Raha Hoon

Chandni Raat Beeti Jaa Rahi Hai - Ullu Ki Patthi, Too Ab A Rahi Hai

Kabhee Side Say Aatee Ho Kabhee Peechay Say Aatee Ho - Meree Jaan Horn Day Day Kar Mujhay Tum Kyon Satateey Ho

Maan Ki Dua Jannat Ki Hawa - Maan Ki Bud-Dua Ja Beta Rickshaw Chala

Pappu Yaar Tang Na Ker!

Zehreeli Nagan

Koi Jal Gaya, Kisi Nai Dua Di

Quaid-E-Azam Nay Farmaya - Tu Chal, Main Aayaa

Main Phir Aaon Ga

Tapar Hai To Paar Kar Warna Bardaasht Kar

Maan Ki Dua, Baap Ka Chamaat

Dekh Magar Pyar Se!

Khatharnaak Rambo

Horn Day Ker Paas Kerain

Chal Dhanno

Phir Milayngay

Akhri Shahzada

Tera Jadoo Chal Gya

Hosh Ker Kherghosh

Wo Dekho Mastani Ja Rahi Hay

Khuda Keray Haseenoo Ke Baap Mar Jeyeen - Maut Ka Bahana Ho Hum Un Ke Ghar Jeyeen

Abey Kambakath Aisa Soochna Bhi Paap Hoga - Kissi Rooz Tu Bhi Kissi Haseen Ka Baap Hoga