Showing posts with label laugh. Show all posts
Showing posts with label laugh. Show all posts
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Its LALOO TIME
One day Laloo was travelling by his car. He was going to a village for campaigning . Suddenly a piglet came before the car.
The driver could'nt hit the brake at the right time and unfortunately the baby pig was killed in the accident . At the sight Laloo was deeply moved and felt very upset He called the driver and said ,"Jiska e suuar hai hum usko compensesan dena chahta hoon . Usko dhundke lav ".
At his words the driver went to the nearest village and came back after some time with a tilak on his forehead, garlands around his neck and lots of money in his hands!!!
Laloo was surprised . He asked ,"Hum tumko kaha tha ke uss aadmi ko laiye , aur tum aise wapas aaye ho! baat kya hai?"
At this the driver replied " I told them about the incident . Hearing it they were rejoiced , put tilak and garlands on me, then danced for some time and gave this money."
Laloo then asked him "Aap unko eg-jectly kaa bole?"
The driver replied : "Main bola, mein Laloo Prasad Yadav ka driver hoon, maine suaar ke bachhe ko mar dala hai.........."
The driver could'nt hit the brake at the right time and unfortunately the baby pig was killed in the accident . At the sight Laloo was deeply moved and felt very upset He called the driver and said ,"Jiska e suuar hai hum usko compensesan dena chahta hoon . Usko dhundke lav ".
At his words the driver went to the nearest village and came back after some time with a tilak on his forehead, garlands around his neck and lots of money in his hands!!!
Laloo was surprised . He asked ,"Hum tumko kaha tha ke uss aadmi ko laiye , aur tum aise wapas aaye ho! baat kya hai?"
At this the driver replied " I told them about the incident . Hearing it they were rejoiced , put tilak and garlands on me, then danced for some time and gave this money."
Laloo then asked him "Aap unko eg-jectly kaa bole?"
The driver replied : "Main bola, mein Laloo Prasad Yadav ka driver hoon, maine suaar ke bachhe ko mar dala hai.........."
Read this and laugh
What makes: ”Ooooooo“?
An Cow without lips.
Female friend to her blonde girl friend; ” I went for a pregnancy test yesterday“ Blonde friend: ”Oh, was it difficult?“
Little boy asks his spinster aunt: ”Why have you never married?“ she replied: ”because I have a parrot, a dog and a cat. They are just like a man, the parrot swears like a man, the dog farts continuously like a man and the cat strays at night , like a man!“
A girl was yelling in the Church after the Chapel:
"Oh God! Please make Moscow the Capital of China!"
The priest inquired: "Why must you pray so, my child?"
Girl: "That's what I've written in my answer sheet in the examination!"
Granny gets on to her bicycle…her little grandson asked her: ”Where are you going to, Granny?“ She replied:“ to the graveyard, my boy“. Grandson: “but who is going to bring the bicycle back?“
Definition of a Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Definition of a Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
Definition of a Divorce : Future tense of marriage
Definition of a Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
Definition of a Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight
An Cow without lips.
Female friend to her blonde girl friend; ” I went for a pregnancy test yesterday“ Blonde friend: ”Oh, was it difficult?“
Little boy asks his spinster aunt: ”Why have you never married?“ she replied: ”because I have a parrot, a dog and a cat. They are just like a man, the parrot swears like a man, the dog farts continuously like a man and the cat strays at night , like a man!“
A girl was yelling in the Church after the Chapel:
"Oh God! Please make Moscow the Capital of China!"
The priest inquired: "Why must you pray so, my child?"
Girl: "That's what I've written in my answer sheet in the examination!"
Granny gets on to her bicycle…her little grandson asked her: ”Where are you going to, Granny?“ She replied:“ to the graveyard, my boy“. Grandson: “but who is going to bring the bicycle back?“
Definition of a Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Definition of a Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
Definition of a Divorce : Future tense of marriage
Definition of a Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
Definition of a Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Good One To Laugh
1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells
her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.
2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD,
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.
5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC
6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all
your Friends.
7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we
will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.
9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you
from Darkness.
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the
ELECTRICITY BILL.
11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.
12. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is
built for" - Albert Einstein
her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.
2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD,
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.
5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC
6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all
your Friends.
7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we
will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.
9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you
from Darkness.
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the
ELECTRICITY BILL.
11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.
12. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is
built for" - Albert Einstein
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